After you have chosen the option of adoption, you may ask yourself, “How do I decide which adoption plan is best for me?” Each plan, whether it be open, semi-open, or closed,1 has its own set of pros and cons. First, you need to decide how much, if any, contact you would like to have with your child after she has been placed in her adopted family. This decision directly affects which adoption plan you will choose.
You want to create an arrangement that you are pleased and comfortable with. Therefore, it is vital to understand the details of each adoption plan. You are in control of your baby’s future. Take the time to research and ask questions. Choosing adoption is a courageous decision! Let’s start by looking into what a closed adoption plan is and what it means for you and your child.
What is a Closed Adoption?
All information about the birth parents is concealed in a closed adoption.2 This plan completely protects your privacy.
It ensures that you will not meet your child’s adoptive parents or have open contact with them.3 Your adoption agency or attorney will usually handle any communication necessary between you and the prospective parents.4 Thus, your identity is completely confidential.
In addition, no contact is allowed between you and your child.5 Your relationship is totally dissolved once she is placed in her new family.
Advantages of a Closed Adoption
Choosing this approach does have advantages that can be beneficial to you. Consider each one seriously.
1. Complete Privacy
In comparison with open adoption and semi-open adoption, you have the greatest privacy in closed adoption.6 If you haven’t shared your pregnancy with your family or community, you may feel that this plan will best maintain your confidentiality. However, do be sure to find a local care center where you can receive loving support and professional counseling.
2. Sense of Closure
Moving on with your life may be easier for you because of the sense of closure that occurs when your baby is placed in her adopted family. You may not want to be reminded, through continued contact, of the painful choice you had to make. Choosing a closed adoption may help you to emotionally heal.
3. Helps Your Child Bond
Since your child will be a part of a new family, you may feel that a closed adoption would help them to completely bond with their adopted parents and siblings.
Disadvantages of a Closed Adoption
Now, take into consideration the disadvantages of choosing a closed adoption. Each person is different and handles challenges in various ways, so don’t feel pressured.
1. No Contact with the Adoptive Family
You will not be able to meet the adoptive family or have a relationship with them.7 You may desire this contact to make sure that you are choosing the best family for your child.
2. Loss of Relationship with Your Child
Also, you will not be able to stay connected to your child or watch her grow up.8 Knowing how she is doing may help you to overcome any feelings of grief or loss that you may experience.
3. Unable to Find You
When your child matures, she may want to have a relationship with you. This is nearly impossible in a closed adoption.9
4. Unknown Genetics
Your child and their adopted family will have no way of obtaining updated medical information.10 Since she is not genetically related to her family, this information can be helpful.
Who Pays for the Adoption?
Legal fees vary from situation to situation but not between adoption plans.11 It is common for adoption agencies to place some or all of the legal fees associated with adoption on the adoptive family.12 Their priority is making you as comfortable as possible on this journey. Laws and details vary state to state, so be sure to stay connected with an adoption professional.
Taking the Next Step
If you have any questions or concerns, visit your local care center. They can connect you with an adoption specialist, or an adoption attorney for further help. Never conceal your hopes or fears for adoption. Share what is on your heart so you can receive the best service possible and develop an adoption plan that you are pleased with.
A closed adoption plan allows you to place your baby in an adoptive family while keeping your identity totally private. You do not have any contact with his or her new family. You may feel that this is the best way for you to emotionally recover from the painful decision you had to make.
Whatever you choose, you can be at peace knowing that you gave life to your child, and they are growing up in a stable, loving environment. You are choosing to give your baby life and placing her in a loving family—what a gift!
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